Thank you for your patience.
I want to thank you for your subscriptions, replies, scrutiny, positive reactions, and buzz to my blog for “The Book of G.A.M.E.”
I shared with you a very personal part of me. I hope that you found it refreshing. I was always taught that the faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain. I never pride myself on having 2 fans/followers or 200,000 of them. The bottom line is that if you’re reading this, YOU are the One that I appreciate. With that being said, now the time has come.
“The Book of G.A.M.E.” (Getting A Major Edge)
Intended for Men. Written for Women.
It’s been four years and three months since I first put pen to paper, but 30 years in the making. I am happy to announce that my book will be available for Kindle and online purchase on August 24th, 2013. Why this date? It’s my Mother’s Birthday. A very special day to me. She is where my G.A.M.E. began. Other than that, it’s a Saturday. Stop asking me questions.
I feel like I wasted my last good hairline years on my ex~
I remember the days when I had a dark, crispy, robust hairline that would slice one deeply if they ran their finger across it at the wrong angle. I remember it went straight across my forehead like a crew neck t-shirt; now it’s more like a v-neck.
Yet with a combination of Time, Bad Relationships, stress, and DNA, it’s not as vigorous anymore. But it doesn’t concern me. My handsome starts from within.
Ladies, you may find the same to be true in your life. You spend countless months, years, and decades with men who relentlessly consume your “Good Hairline Years.” Maybe your hair used to fall and land at the bottom of your back, and now it struggles to barely land at the bottom of your neck. Perhaps the thick, course, beautiful hair that used to drive you crazy because it was hard to manage is now thinner than it used to be…and you want it back. But knowing that you can’t get it back (naturally) drives you even crazier. Stupid Crazy, as you realize that life happens.
Yes, it does.
But this reinforces our human state, and that also, time is the most valuable resource. It’s the ONLY thing in life, other than life itself, that you cannot get back. Treat it as such.
The Good Hairline Years might be a metaphor for an even deeper emotional and spiritual urgency. Maybe you want kids, and he doesn’t. Maybe you spend too much time in the house because you’re scared to death to go out and enjoy your life after watching the news. The news is the devil. Maybe you’ve been using that Wells Fargo teller position as a “Stepping Stone” and realized that 12 years has passed by………….meanwhile, your passion to become an interior decorator has been put on the back burner. Not even on the back burner, on the foreman grill in the closet. Maybe you’re with a man, just to maintain the perception of “being with someone” and have a warm bed to enter. Meanwhile, happiness does not exist in you.
Or maybe, just maybe you lead the perfect life, have the perfect hairline, and have no need for the Book of G.A.M.E.
Or, maybe not.
Female or male, you need to understand that your beauty starts from within. Identify that and let it resonate outward. NEVER let time pass with any person, thing, or opportunity that’s not good for you.
Don’t waste your Good Hairline Years on anyone.
June 27th, 2013. ~ The Book of G.A.M.E. available at a book store near you
Please believe, that I did everything in my power to avoid this issue.
Well, almost everything. After having a deep talk with one of my dear comrades, I found it necessary. He actually inspired the title that you hate that you love.
Pretty girls poop!
I’m not too keen on it.
I don’t like it.
And to be quite frank with you, I still don’t fully accept it.
And I know what you’re probably thinking:
“It’s 2013. Get over it!”
But I’m not over it, so I implore you to get over the fact that I’m just not over it yet.
These are my thoughts~
I put Damsels on a pedestal. Even the ones who don’t deserve it.
I guess you can say, I’m a female chauvinist, if you will.
My Mother raised me, so she was like a God to me.
I look up to women.
I treasure their existence.
I admire them.
Again, even the ones who don’t deserve it.
So just the mere fact in knowing that Damsels defecate troubles me.
It humanizes them in a way that I’m not really comfortable with.
But that’s just me.
And as much as I despise this harsh reality, I realize the bigger picture.
G.A.M.E. can be improved significantly if men took the time to realize that Pretty Girls have to visit the porcelain every now and again. Depending on how you look at it, we can turn the feces into fertilizer. And some men just don’t see it this way yet. That’s why I’m here…
Every man in the world, including myself, has seen that Damsel that was so beautiful, it made him quiver.
Made him nearly sh*t himself…at least once. I know I have.
Because true beauty is nerve-wracking and scary.
(And by beauty, I mean whatever you perceive as such.)
When people get nervous, their bowels start doing peculiar things.
It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Ramadan, on your 9th day of fasting; matter will find it’s way to your tail feather if you’re nervous. Bottom line.
So back to my Soapbox…
There was a girl named Nia quite a few yesterdays ago.
Nia. Was. Everything.
She & I lived on the same street, her about 6 houses down.
I don’t know what it was about this girl that wrapped my stomach in knots when I saw her; but somehow, she was successful at it every time.
So what did I finally do?
I did what every young handsome boy with raging hormones does whenever he sees a girl he likes:
I fled the scene immediately, like clockwork.
I would go back to the comfort of my living room and spectate her glory from the mini blinds.
This was way before the Book of G.A.M.E. even came out.
I was G.A.M.E.-less
Even my father’s continuous pep talks couldn’t get me to overcome these emotional hurdles I was hurdling…fear that she would reject me.
If I knew then
what I know now, Nia would’ve been in the bag.
Turns out that I put her on such a high pedestal, that I was unable to reach her myself. And that was my own doing.
Comrades, be confident. Please. A Damsel at the end of the day, is a human being at the beginning of the day. Confidence is everything. You need to understand that rejection is always a possibility, even for the Damsel that makes you nervous. G.A.M.E. is a mechanism designed to help you minimize these rejections. Never be too afraid to approach what you think may be a shot at something real. Pedestals are for Bronze, Silver, and Gold Medalists. But if you happen to accidentally place her up there real high…
Bring her back down!
You can simply do so by just remembering, that Pretty Girls do it too.
Many of you are back into the dating scene again, or have a fresh new fling for the spring season. Therefore, I know you have much to do so I’ll keep this chapter brief. I want to touch on this topic because I’ve been consulting with my sources, and apparently there’s still some confusion on the matter…
THE G.A.M.E. OF TREATING~
The general consensus when it comes to a Man treating a Damsel on a date.
Most people would say:
The man treats
For every date
I stand before you to break that rule today.
GOOD WALLET SWAGGER~
Very 1st date:
The man and his beautiful date are finished with their meal and the check comes.
The man should ALWAYS pull out his wallet, money clip, or sweaty dress sock stash depending on how old school he is. No if’s, and’s, or Gluteus Maximus’s about it. That’s just plain common sense and common decency of a gentleman. Don’t be frugal, comrade. That $80 dollars you spend at Benihana will very well earn you a strong first impression with the Damsel. Arguably, this same behavior of treating should be exhibited for a while, or at least the…
11th date, maybe. That’s good wallet swagger.
But you’re on the 247th rendezvous and she still hasn’t come out of pocket for you……….. or at least ‘Offered’………..
That’s a no-no
Immediately, if not sooner.
No hard feelings, but you would actually be doing this lady more of a disservice by keeping her around.
NO, BUT SERIOUSLY~
If you’ve been dating the same damsel for 2 years and she’s yet to reach for her purse in the “I’m about to pay” motion, you might want to reevaluate if she’s a keeper or not.
At this point, she expects you to come out of pocket. She has in someway either totally forfeited her independence for you or is outwardly showing that she has a slight selfish nature. Either way, it’s not sexy.
RESPECT THE OFFER~
The ‘Offer’ goes a long way. The offer is sexy.
I don’t care if the tab is $11 dollars or $411 dollars. Just the notion that a Damsel is willing to entertain both of you at her own expense is very attractive. Comrade, if your date at least offers, you can decline (unless you’re broke, of course.) But if you’re leaving the house in 2013 without any currency, this calls for a separate session. I personally think that the dishwashing thing is a myth. Restaurant Management is seeking the feds nowadays.
Worst Case Scenario: You can always ditch together, and pray about it.
Ladies: Just the notion that you offer to treat says nothing but positive things about your character. It may seem like just “a few dollars” to you, but believe me, it goes a long way. When the man boasts about you to his comrades, please believe that your generosity will find its way into the conversation.
WITH THE NEW ROLE REVERSALS IN POWER~
Damsels nowadays may actually insist that they treat. If you put up a fuss, they may even get aggressive and give the hostess their card and demand that the waiter doesn’t take yours. I’ve even watched a girl stab a waiter’s hand for grabbing my check card instead of hers. (It was with a spoon, though.) Be mindful of these women. They are very independent, and they want to make it apparent that they don’t need you for anything (not even for a Tilapia dinner!)
She may be Robin Givens’ character from the “Boomerang” Movie.
Or, she may just be a sweetheart. That’s for you to decide.
(This is a new segment of G.A.M.E. These are quick and direct bullet points directed towards men and women. You’re either going to love me or hate me for this one)
LADIES: Be cautious of this guy
“I forgot my wallet.”
- The “I forgot my wallet guy is a loser.” A bonafide loser, he’ll never make the playoffs. This species of man is still living and breathing among us. Rid yourself of him. Strange that he mysteriously “forgets his wallet” and realizes it juuuuuust when you pull up to the venue…every time. But of course if you’ve been going out for a year or more, he gets three “I forgot my wallet” credits per year after that point.
MEN: Be wary of this girl…
“I have to use the restroom”
- It’s not that she has to use the restroom. It’s WHEN she has to use the restroom. Whenever it’s time to order in line, or when the check comes, she magically disappears for the exact amount of time it takes for YOU to pay the bill. Facing it and watching you pay would be much more respectful. This girl is sneaky and self-centered. Nevertheless, she’s an expert at what she does.
LADIES & MEN:
“I’ll have the filet mignon with lump crab meat”
- Keep your distance from the type of people who will order the most expensive thing (even if they don’t want it) just because they know you’re paying. In other words, they order an entrée that they wouldn’t pay for with their own money. Birthdays and special occasions don’t apply, of course. This kind of person is not someone you need around you, and may possibly be a gold digger. But maybe you’re into that sorta thing.~
Keep in mind that these writings are just EXCERPTS from my full-length “The Book of G.A.M.E.” (an acronym for Getting A Major Edge.) When I say a Major Edge, I mean Major! From Dating, Love, confidence, and the art of the human relationship, I cover it all. My thoughts are candid, and though raw in nature, my words will help you get a positive Edge on Life. I’m sure of it. The Book in its entirety will be available for sale soon but until then, enjoy the following post, as it was written just for you. Your reciprocal thoughts and comments are much appreciated.
“After a break-up, certain street, locations, even times of day are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.” ~Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City)
I’m an avid fan of “Sex & The City.” Always was. Although, I wasn’t particularly pleased with the direction they chose with the second installment of the movie. Quite frankly, I sincerely hope that they end it there; I really can’t bear to hear another over-the-top “Churchy” rendition by Jennifer Hudson. But that’s neither here nor there…
I want you to Get a Major Edge (G.A.M.E.) and I stole the quote from Carrie because I think that it has all the necessary vitamins and minerals to help you do so. Every relationship has an expiration date. It’s up to you and your mate to preserve its contents as best as you can. Just know that when that expiration date becomes today, the “emotional landmines” are coming. Look out for them. If you know where they are, you can avoid them at all costs and spare yourself the casualty. Who has time for that anyway? Life goes on and it will gladly leave you if you allow it. I now have the honor in saying that I can speak from personal experience. When my ex-damsel and I were in the apex of our relationship, ….
……..WE PAINTED THE TOWN RED (*Soapbox)
She and I did much more than watch “Sex & the City” DVDs all day.
WE. PAINTED. THE. TOWN. RED.
For those of you who are not familiar with such idioms, it basically means that she and I did everything together.
Horseback riding in Lake Tahoe, Rode tricycles over the Golden Gate Bridge, Sinned for beads in New Orleans, Walked the dog
at the Grand Canyon, Ate some overrated Chicago-Style pizza in Chicago. We did everything together! As a couple, “boring”
would never define this. I can say that much. We kept each other on our toes. (That basically just means we were
unpredictable.) Alright, I’m being a smart-ass now. But any who, we became restaurant connoisseurs, saw where they were
going on the travel channel and booked flights there for the hell of it. You get the point. We
But feces happened.
>>>>> FAST FORWARD A YEAR LATER >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Next thing you know, I was single in the city, broken, and with nothing to do because everything that I can possibly think of (including breathing) reminds me of things I used to do with the ex-damsel.
For months, I fought this phenomenon. Trying to escape the inevitable. Cutting out places that we used to go, ordering and cooking different dishes other than the ones she used to love. Skipping the sad love songs that I used to enjoy. I was kidding myself. A one man army in an emotional battlefield. For almost a year, I told myself that I could sever all ties with her completely. What I ended up doing naturally was depriving myself of life~ in other words, there’s a lot of things that I used to do and loved doing prior to my ex. When my ex came, I invited her into my life whole-heartedly. So the things I enjoyed, we now both enjoyed. But when my ex went, I associated those things as “our” things instead of realizing the bigger picture. Life exists before and after an Ex.
In fact, “Ex” are the first two letters of “Exist.”
I can go anywhere in the world now and be confident in my decisions. No corner of God’s green land is off limits….including: Old faves that my ex and I used to enjoy in the city. Of course, the passenger is different, and I am pleased with that. It’s as if the landmines never existed in the first place.
Keep your “Edge” and your next courtship will be a lot safer emotionally and physically. A lot more appropriate
You have to brace the possibility that the days of you and your mate might be numbered.
If/When it does, it may feel like you’re just borrowing a small piece of land on a huge field of emotional landmines. But don’t feel that way. Embrace them as a positive. Use them as a constant reminder that your man (or damsel) was most likely leading you to disaster.
If you were blown into smithereens
you’ll still make it.
All you can do is pick yourself up piece by piece. Just be sure to build stronger next time. You can still listen to those Brian McKnight and Coldplay albums and enjoy the music for what it is. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Your G.A.M.E. won’t be either. Eventually, you’ll fall in love with the city again and what it has to offer. Don’t be foolish. It’ll take time to get your city back, I know. I’m not perfect, if you can believe it. It took me a little time also. Take Salmon, for instance.
was my ex damsel’s favorite food.
I can’t lie, I dodged salmon meals for a little while after the break up because it reminded me of her.
But now I don’t turn it down if it’s available.
I would be cuckoo to do so. Salmon is delicious.
Not to mention, packed with omega-3 fatty acids.
You have to acknowledge that there’s a plethora of other choices out there for you: Red Snapper, Barramundi, and so on. So why chase the Salmon? An old proverb from my Grandmother and as corny as it sounds, quite accurate: “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.” You go fishing and get so caught up on catching a salmon that you miss out on the Whale….the real catch. Keep your mind and heart open to receive greatness.
And don’t start getting all juicy-eyed when Brian McKnight’s “one last cry” comes on. Relax. It’s just a song.
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